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Dear Pascal: My Friend Sends 9 Minute Voice Memos

Pascal weighs in on the nine-minute voice memo that was really just about lunch.
Ancient Wisdom, Modern Problem

My Friend Sends Nine Minute Voice Memos About Lunch

Dear Pascal,

My friend of thirty years used to text me a plain Thursday-at-noon question. Now she sends voice memos. Last week's ran 9 minutes and 14 seconds, and the actual plan arrived at minute eight, after a story about her gutters. I listen in the car, because I never have nine free minutes at home. I love her dearly. I just want to know where we are eating. How do I get her to send the short version?

— Memo-Flooded in Memphis

Pascal Replies

Blaise Pascal, French mathematician, physicist, and religious thinker (1623 to 1662)

Dear Memo-Flooded in Memphis,

I admire your friend's thoroughness, and I confess I once wrote letters of considerable length myself. Nine minutes and fourteen seconds to say noon is not a message. It is a small journey with lunch at the end. Before you ask her to shorten it, let me explain why she cannot, and why that is not a failure of love.

Here is the trouble. Brevity is labor. Rambling is what happens when the labor is skipped. In one of my Provincial Letters I admitted as much: "I have made this longer than usual because I have not had time to make it shorter." Your friend is not careless with your time. She simply has not had the minutes to trim. A voice memo is thinking out loud, and thinking out loud runs long.

So lighten her labor instead of scolding her. Do not ask her to be shorter. Ask her a smaller question. Send a text with three blanks: where, what day, what time. Three answers fit on one line, and she can fill them in without composing anything. The story about the gutters is not lost. It simply belongs at the table, next to the soup, where a story can take its time.

This week, send her one text: I loved hearing from you. Save the gutters for lunch. Where and when? Then keep your side of the bargain and hear the whole story, start to finish, over bread. A long message from an old friend is a small gift, and a gift is best opened slowly, in person.

— Pascal

In Pascal's Own Words

“I have made this longer than usual because I have not had time to make it shorter.”

— Pascal, Provincial Letters, Letter 16

The Provincial Letters were a series of letters Pascal published under a pen name in the 1650s, defending a fellow theologian and criticizing the moral reasoning of his opponents. In this line he apologizes for a long letter and points out that making writing short takes more effort than making it long. It still fits any modern message that rambles because its sender had no time to trim.

Who Was Pascal?

Blaise Pascal was born in Clermont, France, in 1623 and was a gifted mathematician from youth. As a teenager he built a mechanical calculator to help with his father's tax work. He studied fluids and air pressure, and his name is attached to a famous triangle of numbers. In the 1650s he published the Provincial Letters, admired for their wit and clarity. He also left behind notes on faith and human nature, collected after his death in 1662 as the Pensées. Readers still love his precise, startlingly modern observations.

Try This Today

Before you send your next long message, text, or voicemail, write the one sentence the recipient truly needs, then put it first. Read it back and cut one extra sentence. If you are on the receiving end of a long message, reply to the single useful part with a short question. Notice how much easier the next exchange becomes.

Your Turn

Which message of yours would improve most if you spent five more minutes cutting it, and who would be grateful for that effort?

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Letters are composites written by the Lifted Words editors. Replies are written in the spirit of each thinker; the quote in the blue box is their own.

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