Love Is A Choice

"Love is not something you feel. It's something you do."

— David Wilkerson

Context

Wilkerson developed this perspective through decades of ministry to people in crisis, where he witnessed countless relationships fail because they were built solely on emotion. He observed that feelings are unreliable foundations: they fluctuate with circumstances, fade with familiarity, and disappear under stress. The romantic notion of love as an overwhelming feeling creates relationships that collapse the moment passion wanes or difficulty arrives. True love, Wilkerson argued, is a verb, not a noun. It's the choice to serve when you don't feel like it, to forgive when you're hurt, to stay when leaving seems easier, to speak truth when silence is comfortable. This quote challenges Valentine's Day culture that commodifies love into chocolates and cards while ignoring its actual cost: daily sacrifice and intentional action regardless of emotional state.

Reflection Question

Think of a relationship where your feelings have cooled or been tested. What specific actions could you take this week that would demonstrate love regardless of how you feel in the moment?

Application Tip

Create a "love action list" for one important relationship in your life. Write down five concrete, repeatable actions that demonstrate care: listening without interrupting, doing an unexpected chore, asking about their day and really engaging with the answer, apologizing quickly when wrong, or expressing specific appreciation. For the next seven days, perform at least one action daily, especially on days when you least feel like it. Notice how consistent action creates the feelings we often wait to experience first.